Acceptance: the Building Block of Human Nature (Drinking: A Love Story)

Acceptance: the Building Block of Human Nature (Drinking: A Love Story)

10/30/06
Acceptance: The Building Block of Human Nature

It started out as an awkward situation for me. My junior year, my friend wanted to go to this party with me; I refused but eventually gave in. I am extremely shy around people I don’t know, so obviously, I was feeling very anxious and out of place. I had no intention of getting drunk or even drinking a sip. When someone offered me a drink I took it without even thinking. I guess I was afraid to say no and have them look at me as if I didn’t belong. I so desperately wanted to belong! I had intended to use the drink as a prop, just a little something to help me “act the part.” Soon I started to feel as if it wasn’t as convincing to merely hold the drink; I had to sip it too. Only small sips of course, whenever anyone looked my way. Eventually I was a little tipsy. I started to loosen up and actually talk to people. I thought they saw me “acting” and decided it was ok to talk to me; that I belonged there too. I didn’t even notice that I was drinking more and more, or getting louder or not walking steadily. I was too hooked on the attention, the feeling of acceptance.
Pretty soon I started going to more parties and I started drinking more. I needed to drink, and to drink a lot before I could slip out of my skin and into that of my “character” that I seemed to become when I partied. I would find myself in weird places and have no idea how I got there. One time I ended up in a tree, another time I was on top of a refrigerator. I started to gather a large group of friends. We’d get together almost every night and hang out. Sometimes we’d go to parties, and sometimes we would just drive around. I felt like I was finally being accepted, that finally, people liked me.
During this time boys started to notice me. I liked that a lot! I had always been completely ignored by boys up until then, so I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly I was getting all this attention and I had no idea how to...