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Bambi's Lousy Childhood

Bambi's Lousy Childhood
One lousy morning, the sound of voices were so damn loud, that it woke me up. I leaned over my branch, and saw a scrawny and faggy, newborn fawn cuddling with his mother, surrounded by a goddamn crowd of animals. From that moment I realized that the forest prostitute has struck again. I don't know why the hotshot King of the forest doesn't mind his wife being a prostitute, I mean he probably doesn't even know it's his son. Anyway, that's another story. Since dawn, Thumper the annoying rabbit had been spreading the crappy news, about the Prince being born and all, and then the stupid animals came from all over the forest, just to admire the ugly turd like he was some hot shot or something.
After all the animals were finished starring down the son of a bitch, they decided to bring Bambi for a walk. The Queen said it would be fine as long as I, the owl, go with them. Unfortunately I had no choice, but to go, because if I didn't I'd probably get a beating from the King. He always does that kind of stuff. I mean if his family doesn't get what they want, they cry to the King, and then a big rumble starts, and no matter what the King wins. Even if the whole forest was against him. And on top of all that, it was my goddamn duty, to watch the Prince grow up, and make sure that nothing harms him. So, I had to follow Bambi, and his little friends, to explore the forest, and the world, and all, with Thumper teaching the puny fawn all he knew. Not like it would help the Prince anyway. "There are lots of different plants and animals in the forest," stated the rabbit with his stupid lisp and his clowny voice. That moment a butterfly caught Bambi's eye. "Tha That's a butterfly," Thumper said. "But-but-butterfly!" Bambi repeated senselessly. Finally the little turd learned something new.  
Bambi was very happy in the forest and all. He made all kinds of friends, and his mother the forest prostitute, taught him all sorts of crap. He learned what plants...