Jay Essay

Jay Essay

When I planned to write an essay about the last year’s experience, I really was ready and excited to lay off the effusive feelings I have had; yet after finishing the essay, I could not believe how lame it sounded for other people to understand my struggles. However, with all honesty, ‘the great turnover’, as some people had put it in my junior year, did not come from a tragic mishap like losing parents or being in a poverty, but encountering the loneliness, realizing the hardships of mother’s role, facing the real world, and appreciating my mother’s works.
Coming over to America from Canada was for me, even harder than going to Canada at first place. Because I had to oblige myself and fled from the ‘unforgettable moments’ I had with my friends and ‘soul-mate’, for a bigger person of me. But how foolish I was that I did not realize that forcing would not get me anything but an obsession which stays longer to rot even if it was the decision that I have made! While I was in class at SPM, my soul was rambling the streets on Mission city going to see my girlfriend, and while others do homework, my soul was playing basketball with my friends at Mission center. I really was puzzled with the picture of myself, where ‘Jaeseok Jang’ is not in it. I felt like I was in a desolate island of an empty apartment where being alone made it ‘no one home’ because of my soul searching. Yet, my agony often brought more joys to the conversation with my only friend ‘Wilson’, which to me, was ‘music’ and ‘art’. Particularly, one of my project ‘the smiles’ had taught me how to console myself during my hardships, because it made me wonder what ‘my’ smile would bring, when the kids on my project that I do not know anything about made me smile all the time when I look at their smiley faces. Also, I summoned and hold on to my soul to my music sometime, by learning and experiencing to sing the sincere emotions of my memories.
Furthermore, with...